My thoughts are running around. Between life, my life and the life of others.

I am happy, I know that my study work is the worst that there can be but I am about to get better. It's hard to get control back about something. For me it will always be learning from paper.
This is just something I will never be certain of, something I never really could love. Honestly it doesn't really bother me to read a text or a book, it's just that I learn a lot more from doing things, repeating them and watching something, just being a part of it, that's how I remember things.

I love to do stuff on my own, explore how things work, how one thing connects to another and to see what you can achieve with some little things, that's what I really love and want to do.

And that's my Technische Mineralogie at the moment. God, I love that stuff. Honestly this is the first part of my studies that I really want to learn, that I can see myself working at in 20 years or so. All the others are interesting to but there hasn't been anything that I could have said "I want to do this all my life".

I know a lot of people don't understand this, espically when they get to know what this is all about, but I love it. For me it is so interesting and fascinating to play with different materials and try to find out what you can do with it and make something for special usage.

Damn I am so happy about this. I know it sounds strange to say this about my studies that I picked out myself and was so sure about but I knew from the beginning that my studies will be only a step in my grown up life. I really like my studies, I like getting to know all this stuff and I like my life as a student but I wanted more than just learning for the money, I wanted to enjoy my life afterwards, that was the reason I picked this subject because it left me so many opportinities after I would be finished with my bachelor.

And now I think I found what i was looking for....my little hope at the end of the road ;)