I wrote a really good exam today. I'm not sure if I get an A, not even a B or C or D. And I don't care. It was my first exam I really enjoyed and liked. I felt like giving something back. Like it had a meaning.

It feels good. I guess this is how people like my sisters feel so often. (I know that you both deserve better than "people like") It felt great stepping out of this room.


But I came here to tell another story.


I met someone. After I had been a real wreck for a long-term I just returned to myself. Stepped back. And just started to open.

I've carrying a lot around. I've been a fool.

I've already seen here. I've already talked to her. But you know how it is with people you just don't get in touch really. You just don't get any connection without spending time together.

But that's what I did. I spent time with her. I spent time with her. I didn't change. I didn't lie. I didn't overwrite my life.

I spent time with her.

We met for tea. As far beyond imagination this might seem, it was like this. We met for tea and we talked. About a lot of things. We just talked. I forgot the time very often. And I felt so full-filled in these times.

I love it.

I miss it.


But after I spent monday and tuesday with her I had to wait til today to see her again. And it was really the part of seeing her being okay that gave me the biggest satisfaction.

I saw her and felt eased. I don't know how to describe this but I was okay with the world. I felt like everything that is going wrong at the moment with me and my life is going to be more positive than I thought.

I calm. Honestly I calm. Nothing describes it better. I get so relieved and so satisfied.

I haven't decided yet how and where this is going. But I feel good und that's what I need right now.

I'm just happy here.

May I ask: Why is this so complicated?

Why you're asking me all the time?

Because I want an answer.

There is none.

What do you mean?

Life isn't complicated. Love neither. All you have to do is to be honest. Mostly to yourself. Don't worry about where you will be in the future. Worry about how you get there.
You never be happy if you keep on worrying. Step up for a life you can love. Something you feel in the right place.
You will make mistakes, everbody does, but it is your turn to undo them or most possibly make the best out of it.