Okay, to bring everybody up to date, and me too, here comes what happened in the last couple of days, even weeks.

I had one of my crucial exams on tuesday. One of three steps to stay here in university and to get my bachelor degree. I don't have any results so far, but I hope it will be good enough to go on.

If I fail, I get exmatriculated and I won't be able to study something else, or let's be honest I won't study anything else.

I was really scared before the exam and in no exam the time took so long to past but afterwards I was relieved and really happy that it was over.

The rest of the week I tried to relax and get my mind of the exam, which was really hard, but you know me, just doing nothing is my second name...



On friday I wanted to give blood plasma to get some money, but as it looks my protein-level is too low at the moment and I need to be tested on monday again to make sure I can donate.

Honestly this sucks. I depend on that money. I have some money on my account but because I won't get any more tution from the state from september on I really need to save all the money I get on my account.

I live from that money now. That's a fact. I know this sucks, and I never thought it could get this bad but without it I won't be able to stay here.

I hope I can work in summer holidays at home but I will be difficult because I can't leave here before the end of june and than it could be already too late to work for a longer period.


Okay, now for something to get happy about:

Italy or let's say Ivrea was amazing, it was better than I expected it to be. I mean the weather sucked, and to keep track of all the things we were told was a pain in the a.s but it was so enjoyable just to learn and work half a day, sleep 1/4 of the day and to meet with nice people afterwards.

To be around people is the best medicine to get back your ambition for something you once loved and all of the sudden can't find that passion anymore.

I will always remember this week.


And to calm any worries down:

I actually got a job as a dogsbody, no okay that sounds strange, I work for the institute of technical mineralogy as a volunteer. And when I say volunteer, I mean volunteer.

I don't get paid.

Why? Well, the explanation is very easy: I asked my prof in january if there is a position for a student available soon and she told me to come again in march. In march she said that the faculty is applying at the moment for some money and I should ask again in 4-5 weeks.
So at the end of april I stood at her doorstep again and sadly she said that there have been a lot of cutbacks and that they won't be able to hire any students this semester.

Well, than I thought a couple of days about it, and decided to ask if there is anything I can do anyway. I wanted to do at least something, because the longer I am at home the sadder and the lazier I get.

So I went to her office again, and before I really asked her something she said: "No we don't have anything for you"

Than I asked her if there is anything I could do, she asked me if I wanted to be a slave and I said "Yes".

Now I am measuring chemicals to produce glass melts. And soon I will to my first melt all alone.

I know those are babysteps, but believe me when I say: I love it!!



And now I am leaving you, because I want to prepare myself for the night with my nightpartner...