I hate myself for doing this. It can't be that I get so fuck up some time.

Mostly it happens when I get drunk and than I lose control. I can't hold the anger back. I can't control myself and I do shit like beating up my best friend or hitting a very good friend.

Or worse.


This has to stop. There is no way I want to be like that. And there is no way I let myself be like this. This has to stop, no matter how hard it will be.


So no more drinking and more other outlets for that anger and aggressiveness.