May I ask: Why is this so complicated?

Why you're asking me all the time?

Because I want an answer.

There is none.

What do you mean?

Life isn't complicated. Love neither. All you have to do is to be honest. Mostly to yourself. Don't worry about where you will be in the future. Worry about how you get there.
You never be happy if you keep on worrying. Step up for a life you can love. Something you feel in the right place.
You will make mistakes, everbody does, but it is your turn to undo them or most possibly make the best out of it.