I watched "Into the wild" on sunday.

It made me a mess.

I was sitting in the cinema and all these pictures that were shown gave me a felling of missing something really big. Something I don't know of at the moment.

It will be a big challenge. Everything is. But things need to improve. It is a natural cause.


How do you come to a point where you are actually scared of yourself?

When do you become someone you never knew?

Ever wondered how that feels?


Well I know now. Sitting in the chair, watching everything from the outside, not with my own eyes, just with such a big tension in myself that barely could keep me breahting everything else seemed senseless.

I felt helpless, scared, happy, full-filled, confused, sad and brave at the same time. My soul was telling me so many things and I couldn't reach out for it.

Something is going on inside of me.

I'm curious when I found out what.