What am I doing here?

I wanted to know the answer to that.

But I guess there is nobody left out there to help me.

I am in a lot of trouble right now. I mean my bachelor degree is far away from being accomplished and my happiness is more than aware that there is no need to give me the pleasure of a visit.

So than here I stand. Or sit.

Without any money, actually with 35 Euros less than nothing because I forgot to take my keys with me when I went for a walk and the """really friendly""" janitor's wife insisted that it is night and I needed to pay the night rate for the key-service.

You have no idea how much this made me laugh.

Like I don't have enough money problems at the moment. Like there is no current tution assessment that I need to fullfill until the end of june. Like I don't have any trouble with figuring out a way to proceed at least so far that I am close to my 3.semester/term.

And let's not even try to begin with my thoughts about how this story should go on.

At the moment I am looking at Brisbane and my desire to go back is bigger than it is helpful at the moment.

In my mind there is always this little sentence running around with which "October Road" started.

"Es el tonto que no puedo volver al lugar de su felicidad pasada."


So am I a fool for not returning to the place of my greatest happiness?

Sometimes I think so.

Sometimes I don't.

I know that my memories of Aussie are much more perfect than they really were. But why is the need to be somewhere else so big? Why is it easier to run than to stay? Why is the feeling here so much worse than the feeling before?

And worst of all: Why do I want to go?


Well, in about 2 weeks it will probably all be over with and I can leave for good.